Vegan Basics #2, Stinky Foods

I found when I started making vegan food it almost felt like it was lacking something (“eerr yeah, the meat a dairy, hurhur stoopid vegan” shut your face you bloody carnists, I just got in there first!)

I hadn’t realised how much processed food I ate until I became vegan. This is mainly because suddenly I couldn’t eat most of these foods. I also hadn’t realised how pumped full of salt and sugars these foods were to give them their delicious (but not that great for you) flavours.

There are tonnes of lazy foods for carnists (non-vegans if you hadn’t worked that out, I stole it from the mockumentary “Carnage”) but not so much for vegans. My lazy food tends to be, cook some pasta, throw some stuff in and cross your fingers. Sometimes this is boring. Sometimes this is delicious. But why?

I put on my lab coat and my safety goggles, held a clipboard and did some experiments! My findings came out with something very interesting. Its hard to cook while holding a clipboard. I put it down and experimented some more. What’s the secret to tasty meals? I will tell you. Stinky Foods!

Here’s my favourite Stinky Foods to stop Boring Foods.

These bad boys are the best! I’m particularly in love with the green ones, they’re so stinky! I buy the cheapest jar of these and put them in loads of stuff. I love them hot in pasta. I love them cold in wraps. There’s nothing like biting into something and getting that beautiful flavour come through. Then there’s the varieties you can buy that make you seem a bit fancy. They’re stuffed with different things like garlic or that weird red stuff and they’re flavoured with lemon…I’m dribbling just thinking about it!! I know a lot of people hate these. Those people are wrong, so, so wrong

Stop it mushrooms, you’re embarrassing me! Another one that people love or hate. Luckily for me I love them. I don’t even bother chopping them, just rip them up into lovely big chunks with your fingers, much nicer. Mushrooms are like nature’s version of a meat substitute, chewy and full of flavour. Of course chopping them into little tiny bits so they give every mouthful that something extra is delicious too. This also hides them from those weirdos who claim not to like them, whatever!

I always forget how much I love this stuff. It’s so packed full of flavour that nothing could be boring with this in it (the tinned stuff anyway, I’m not sure about frozen), it has such a satisfying crunch! There’s a stall in Cambridge that sells flavoured pots of it as a snack. I need to munch on this stuff solo more often!

All these years I thought this was something to splodge on the side of your plate until I splodged some into my pasta as I was cooking it! Watch out if it’s English mustard though, that stuff will blow your face off! One thing is sure, the meal will not be boring.

Sundries Tomatoes
On their own, these odd things can be a bit minging. However add them to certain meals and I can’t get enough of them! I’m currently addicted to houmous, spinach and sundried tomato wraps. Another one where I try to chop it up small to get a bit in every bite.

Turns a houmous sandwich into a crunchy masterpiece! Not exactly a stinky food I suppose but I do think they have a delicious flavour and crispy crunch that can make a meal. I prefer these raw, there’s something weird about the texture of a cooked pepper and it seems to lose its flavour a bit.

This is vegan? It’s so meaty tasting. This can basically be used as a stock cube, just bunge it in anything. Also excellent on toast with beans or mushrooms or, wait for it…both! How am I not locked up?

Another bland buster! Can obviously be sliced and put in a burger or sandwich. More deliciously it can be chopped into little pieces, mixed in with squashed up chick peas and vegan salad cream to make something oddly like tuna! Just shove it in whatever and see what happens, who do you think I am? Jamie Oliver all of a sudden?!

Anyway I’m sure once I’ve posted this I’ll think of loads more but oh well. If you’re finding your food a bit boring, put something stinky in it!

(This post has been awarded the Guinness book of world records “most exclamation marks used in so few sentences” record. I’d like to thank my mum!)

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